BISP's Blog
A Punch-You-In-The-Face style of quasi-fitness news from a real fitness professional. This blog has been called "very witty" and "informative" by some dude I've never heard of.

It’s possible that Larry Bird could be the ugliest dude on the planet.  It’s certainly arguable, let’s just run down a few of the obvious for starters.  These would be things that if you can’t pick them out on your own, then you should send me your picture.  Back to Bird.  Beginning with the most blatantly obvious, the [...]

I don’t spend enough time on this here Bone Tone to think about it much, but every now and again I will find myself wondering why the fuck I still keep this stupid-ass thing up and runnin’.  Then I remember how many stupid fucking assholes exist out there, and get right back to work.  There is one thing, however, that [...]

Dear Volunteer Asswipe of the Facebook Police Department, Go fuck yourself.  Seriously, do us all a favor and take your petrified, shit-eating, collective pussy-asses off the computer and get a fucking life.  Just because you don’t have a job doesn’t mean that everybody else wants to sell you something.  If I read a good book, and [...]

Anyone who claims to be fearless is full of shit.  Unless you’re a convicted felon who is serving life without parole, or you’re this guy:Otherwise, I guarantee you I could find a way to make even the badest-asses urinate down their leg.  Not because I’m “likes-to-fight” guy or anything, but because fear is normal; it is necessary for survival.  And believe me, whatever fears you [...]

Do you suck?  Be honest with yourself, do you?  Guys, are you a flacid little wank, only your not so little on behalf of that big-ass ”dickadoo” you got bulging outta that short-sleeved button down that makes yer JC Penney clip-on look all little and shit?  You all remember what a “dickadoo” is, don’t you?  You know, when a dude’s belly sticks out further than his dick [...]

Quick note to T-Dogg: a Frothy Girl has no resemblance to, or in no way is anything like a Rusty Trombone or a Dirty Sanchez.  Get your mind out of the gutter, fucking degenerate.  T-Dogg, by the way, is a buddy of mine who has the dirtiest looking porn-stashe I’ve ever seen, is about the size of an out-of-shape NFL [...]

If you want to be healthy, you better get the fuck out of here.  Out of Missouri anyway.  Settle down Kansans, you’re not exactly topping the charts either.  God damnit, I don’t sit here and say everybody is fat, nasty and stupid for nothing.  Shit, it doesn’t do a damn thing for my health.  In fact, I’ll be the first to admit [...]

This is one of my all time favorite photos.  And no, parents, that’s not my fucking van.  It belongs to the dude who coaches your son’s little league team, but doesn’t actually have a son on the team!  Oh quit being such a bunch of pussies, he’s totally legit!  Anyhow, the point that I’m trying [...]

Kansas City is a rough place to be during this time of year.  I don’t know of anyone who likes the fact that it’s dark at 5:24 p.m., and only getting darker until we hit December 21.  It can take a toll on a person’s health, and I’m not going to bullshit anyone and act [...]

Fuck you.  No offense to approximately one percent of you reading this, but to the other 99 percent, go fuck yourself.  You are a bunch of brain-dead, sloppy, degenerate shitbags, and I’m tired of sharing this city with you.   The shit’s not funny any more.   You’re disgusting, and as I get ready to turn 31 in 17 days, which is still young [...]