BISP's Blog
A Punch-You-In-The-Face style of fitness news you can use. One shouldn't have thin skin, or mind the occassional f-bomb, otherwise, this blog has been called "very witty" and "informative."

If you want to be healthy, you better get the fuck out of here.  Out of Missouri anyway.  Settle down Kansans, you’re not exactly topping the charts either.  God damnit, I don’t sit here and say everybody is fat, nasty and stupid for nothing.  Shit, it doesn’t do a damn thing for my health.  In fact, I’ll be the first to admit to everybody that it’s time for me to start getting my shit back in order too, but I have less to do with another year of patheticism in a long list of fat-ass losers, than most of you do, and that’s just because I don’t smoke…cigarrettes.  Look people, I don’t put everything into these annual rankings, but what my eyes see on a daily basis and what the nonprofit United Health Foundation comes up with each year are too close in accuracy to go patting anybody’s back-fat rolls.  The annual ranking, in actuality, may just be a bit more precise than people might think.  Every year, the UHF looks at 22 indicators of health, including everything from how many children  receive recommended vaccinations, to obesity and smoking rates (cigarettes only), to cancer deaths.  So you want the bad news or the worse news first?  The bad news is that the good news is that we (Missouri) was probably ranked way too fucking high, landing at a despicable 38th unhealthiest state out of 50.  The worse news is that the two twin killers–smoking and obesity–while going down over the last 20 years in most states, is only getting worse in good ol’ Mis-er-y.  And listen, if you just so happen to live on the Kansas side of the state line, you might as well count your own fat ass as part of the problem.  You’re not off the hook just because of one road that divides our metropolitan area.  You need to get off your fat, lazy fucking ass too and be a part of the solution, not just another dumbfuck onlooker.  At the rate things are going, by 2018 the estimated cost of annual health care for obesity-related conditions alone, will be more than $344 billion.  Call me whatever the fuck you want, but that is one grotesquely-fat motherfucking country!

It doesn’t end there either.  Scores for each state are determined by gathering data from a variety of government and nongovernmental databases and then calculating how much each state is better or worse than the national average for each measure.  The scores take into account quite a broad variety of health measures, including rates of infectious diseases, number of preventable hospitalizations and even levels of air pollution.  So this isn’t just some shitty magazine sending a couple of dudes out to create a list of opinionated bullshit.  The rankings are in fact a collaboration between the foundation, The American Public Health Association and the Partnership for Prevention, a coalition of businesses, nonprofits and government agencies.  I couldn’t tell if American Public Health Association Executive Director Dr. Georges C. Benjamin was joking or not when he said that “we’re at at the point where we recognize we have a crisis.”  Well that’s good Dr. B.  Did you also hear that we landed on the moon, and that the world wasn’t flat afterall?!?  Anyway, he goes on to say, “It remains to be seen if we’re in it for the long haul.”  Hmm, is that kind of like it remains to be seen if the Chiefs go to the playoffs this year?  I mean hell, we’re not mathematically eliminated yet…are we?  Not that it matters.  I’m a Boner, not a doctor–yet I was created from the sperm of a doctor, and the egg of a nurse practioner, so let me go ahead and take this one: We’re past the long-haul Dr. B.  Our fat-asses are in overtime, and until we midwesterners, many of whom still take pride in their small-minded, old-fashion ways, with their sunburned necks, get a fucking clue, I don’t see that $344 billion being freed up anytime soon.  On the bright side, we’re not Oklahoma, the 49th unhealthiest state in the union, but we do have Oklahoma Joe’s on our side!

Fuck being fat!  Do something about it.  Start by signing up for the mailing list at www.TrainSmartKC.com.