Tie That Damn Thing In A Knot You Nasty Motherfucker.
We’re going to get back on the exercise bandwagon tomorrow. Today I’ve got to send a message to a group of dipshits so unbelievable that I can’t believe I haven’t touched on this subject before. Thanks to JohnThom, who reminded me of the need to talk about these disgusting, degenerate-dirtbags. So, in my neverending crusade to rid the world of these heavily-salted meat-sticks, let’s take a moment to talk about. . . Dudes who piss in the shower.
For the love of God, have you seen this? Un-fucking-believable. Now I don’t know how you manimals do things, for all I know maybe you do piss all over yourself in YOUR shower, at YOUR home. I personally do not, and although I would recommend mixing in a toilet every now and again, you do whatever makes your fat-ass happy. But DO NOT do that shit in the health club shower. You will more than get maced and placed under citizen’s arrest by me if I catch it, and it’s not that I am looking for it either. I can smell that shit from a mile away. Steve Dave, your diet, which consists of LOTS of salty meats, cheeses and Mountain Dew has you pissing odors in more ways than one. I mean, are you fucking kidding me? Are these guys for real? Isn’t the whole reason you’re in the shower, is to wash off all the sweat, hair, fecal matter and toenails that you picked up while touching the same wieghts and machines that a million other I-didn’t-wipe-my-ass-either freaks have just frothed all over? What, are you lathering up with ultra anti-bacterial Lever 2000, just to rinse the shit off with your own piss? That’s a good idea. Nothing screams clean like urinating on yourself in the shower. And why is it always the nasty, old bastards, who are fat as fuck, VERY old-looking (whether they’re 55 or 110), always shameless, guaranteed clueless, and most-disgusting assholes who think that these rules don’t apply to them? Like their shit don’t stink? Let me tell you something old, unwise-one: Your shit does stink, so bad that you’ll never know. How could you with that swollen-up giant red beak on your face. All those years of Jack Daniels and Glenfiddich have that thing on your face looking good! Is that like a dick, or just an actual nose? Does that thing even work? I hope so, it’s probably the most dick-like looking thing you got left. I’m not trying to look, but whatever you got going on down there in the region that a non-nosedick should be, has gotten so fat it seems to have sent all the lint, dust, and food particles from inside your flaps orbiting around your belly. Hop back into your Dalorean mister, and drive straight back to 1914 where you came from. I mean, I don’t know about you, but I personally do not urinate in any shower, much less a fucking health club shower that other people have to use. Fuck that. Any shower. Don’t piss in the shower. Why not? Other than because it’s lazy and wrong, if you don’t think that bacterias, molds, and funguses are right at home in, and breeding happily, and rapidly in a mixed cest-pool of conduciveness inside the confines of that health club of yours, you’re completely nuts. You don’t have to take my word for it, but in the last year alone, I have picked up a staph infection that was originally thought to have been MRSA, and that I thought was going to kill me, and now, although happy to say I have officially rid myself of it, I got a mysterious rash recently on my legs. It was mostly on the inside of my thighs, and below the knees on the inner portions of my calves. This was what I was talking about the other day when I said that something nothing short of “revolting” had happened to me. Goddam it was horrible. It didn’t look that bad at all, mostly just tiny red bumps, but it itched so bad it was driving me crazy. Another sidenote for those who don’t know: When I say that this “mystery fungus-rash” didn’t look that bad, it’s important to know that I am meaning in comparison to the psoriasis that I have, which is also primarily on my legs. In case you aren’t familiar, psoriasis is a disease of the auto-immune system and has a wide range of symptoms. The most common being the manifestation of large plaques or lesions on the skin, which looks inflammed and scaly. It’s a terrible disease, as all diseases are, and there is no known cure for this one. Because the symptoms are so visible, and because people with moderate to severe cases can have it affect up to 100 percent of the skin’s surface area, the result can be very destructive physically as well as emotionally. There are a few reasons that I am bringing that up, the first of which is to bring attention to my reason for being such a loud proponent of Vemma. I was heavily medicated as a means of treating the symptoms since the age of 9, which was when I was diagnosed. There were times where the medications were very harsh, and it was arguable that the potential side-effects weren’t outweighing the few benefits. I was told by my doctor over the years, as are too many others with their own conditions and circumstances, that I would simply need to remain on the meds for the rest of my life. Obvious to me now, this was all said without any regard for the numerous side effects of all medications, and without any real attempt to get at the root cause of this disease, and why I had developed it. I had questions that weren’t being answered, so I took it upon myself to do my own research to see what I could find. I am ecstatic about the fact that I am nearing the 9-month point of being pharmaceutical and/or medication free for the first time in 21 years. My skin is healthier than it ever was ON the meds, and it had nothing to do with anything / information that my doctor gave me. What I learned about was the various, and abundance of foods containing strong medicinal properties. I don’t need to get into it too much because I want people to look for themselves, but there are 42 xanthone molecules that exist in the pericarp (rind) of the mangosteen fruit, which is grown only in the temperate climates of southeast Asia, and has been used as an anti-inflammatory and immune-booster for thousands of years in Eastern and traditional Ayruvedic medicine. The scientific research that has been done is abundant and conclusive. The reason you won’t get this information from your doctor, is because the majority of them don’t know shit about human nutrition. Most will tell you that nutrition amounted to one chapter, in one class, throughout the entirety of medical school training. I could go on and on, but it lead me to Vemma, which is wildcrafted mangosteen, aloe vera, green tea with vitamins and trace minerals in liquid form, and that is what I drink every day, sometimes with my cocktails (I’m dead serious, see www.myverve.com/lernerfitness for the healthiest, best-tasting cocktail mixer that makes your dick bigger, in the world!) to control my skin without pharmaceuticals. I am imploring that anyone who cares about their own health or the health of someone they know to go to www.pubmed.gov, which is the government’s online medical resource, and type the word mangosteen into the search box. You’ll be blown away by what you find. You could do the same thing at www.medline.com, another well-respected online medical resource. And you will see what I mean. Dr. Oz drinks it, and has also been a huge proponent of Vemma. There is NO ONE that should not be taking this product! The Vemma company offers a 100 percent money back guarantee, and anyone who takes it every day for between 30 and 90 days (minimum), will see a change in their health. I have experienced it, seen it, and met too many people who have done the same to waver on that statement whatsoever. If you try it and it doesn’t work, get your money back. This is a nothing to lose, everything to gain situation here. The other nice thing about this company is that you will never find it in big-box or national retail stores. The integrity of the product itself does not allow for a big enough price mark up for the national chains to make a substantial enough profit on it. That’s good for you however, because the company is a billion dollar one that spends it’s marketing budget on word-of-mouth networking. In other words, if you’re taking the product, you can get paid to tell others the web address where they can get it. Anyone who orders, gets a free membership (think like a Costco membership), and two free websites. Nothing more is required. If anyone you know wants to try it for their own health, they simply buy it online on the websites you were given, they then have their own websites, and you get a check in the mail every Saturday. Look into it more if you want, but my mission to make the world a healthier place, just so happens to pay, and it just so happens that I need some money. But if you think that that is why I went on and on for the last 2,000 words, then go fuck yourself. Don’t be jealous that the same product that changed my health in such a powerful way, is also going to be what changes my life financially. Shit, there’s no reason to be jealous. You could do the same thing if you wanted to. But you got to drink it first: www.myvemma.com/lernerfitness. See you pussies tomorrow.
Loading...