You’re Not Big Boned Lady, You Are Morbidly Obese.
Come on people, really? Do you really believe that you’re just a little overweight when I could fit two of me inside those mega-jeans with the elastic waistline? Do you truly think that you were just born with a metabolism that is really slow? Is it really even possible for you believe that you eat “kinda healthy,” or that those people on Facebook are really your friends? Are you a fucking idiot? Other than your fat, giant, mega-ass that you can’t quite reach around to wipe after destroying your toilet (at work) with last night’s combo of mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, chicken and cheese in-a-bowl from KFC, what’s tipping you off to the fact that your exercise program sucks? I mean, you’re doing it everyday. Did you remember to lick your fingers fat ass? Amazing. Whatever it is you do for a living, let’s say you work on a computer inside a cubicle, then you wouldn’t punch all that information into the computer with your dick would you? Well why not? I mean, I heard somewhere that using your little pencil-dick to type was actually quite efficient, and was great for getting tons of work done. I mean, I’m using my dick to type this right now, and it’s not really working, but I’ll pay you to show me another way, only to keep using this thick, red-hot I got here while I keep looking for someone to tell me why this method of typing sucks…for dudes like me. Quick Sidenote: Have you bastards ever seen those little knubby red-hots that they sell with the beef jerkey at the Quik N’ Tasty? Those things are fucking disgusting…looking…but I’m sure you can tell me how great they taste, can’t ya homeslice? Unbelievable. Anyway, here’s the thing, I’m certainly not mad at you for being an overgrown, obese, sloppy pig. In fact, it’s you guys who have kept me in business. I’ve made more money from people wanting to lose fat than I have any other group of people. But face it, you’re not fat because your fucking metabolism is slow. . . idiot. It’s because you hate to move, and if you do try to start “exercising,” you quit because it doesn’t feel very good, or even better, it just doesn’t work for you because the three times you tried–incorrectly–to use the elliptical machine it didn’t make you lose any weight. Get a life retard. Look at yourself and be honest for once. You’re fat as fuck, that’s why everyone was looking at your nasty ass, not because you know what you’re doing.
Losing fat is an all-out war. It’s hard as fuck, and pretty much everything we do, simply because we were told to, makes it tougher, not easier. If you are really, truly sick of yourself, and sick of being fat–or skinny and unhealthy–then try waging war with yourself for 30 days. That’s it. For 30 days go balls-to-the-wall, do everything that you already know you should do, eliminate any and all excuses, and make a decision with unwavering determination to see what would happen, but only for 30 days. No more. After 30 days, know that you will return to your current lifestyle, and that this experiment is nothing more than temporary. If you can’t, or don’t want to do that, for whatever reason, then I can assure you that I personally don’t give a fuck. But if any of you, or anyone you know, who has sincere intentions to change themselves or their life, try to do it for 30 days. If you can’t do that, then you simply don’t have a real desire, and should not act as though you are the way you are, based only on reasons that are out of control. That’s bullshit. You’re bullshit. Stop whining you fuckin’ pussy. You don’t hear me whining about how long it took me to type in all this shit with my dick now, did you?
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