BISP's Blog
A Punch-You-In-The-Face style of quasi-fitness news from a real fitness professional. This blog has been called "very witty" and "informative" by some dude I've never heard of.

  Pussies clip your ties up tight, plaster some a that nasty dog-oil grease, or whatever it is you use to tape your combover onto your head so tight that it looks all crustily-amazing and what not.   You’re gonna get a rare treat tonight because goddamnit, I’m fuckin’ pissed at myself.  No, I absolutely DO NOT say that [...]

Greetings, and happy Friday to you cubicle peckernecks.  I don’t know if you guys pay much attention to the “comments” portion of this site, but it is the section that allows people to give their two-cents on anything I’ve written (for those of you who are fuckin’ stupid).  Anyhow, I got a very nice, and interesting inquiry that was written to me the [...]

I know that most of you think it’s funny when I rag on the dudes who would make the world a better place if they all got on the same bus and drove it straight into the ocean.  I, on the other hand, think it’s funny that you think it’s funny, primarily because it’s most likely you that i’m talking about.  Those of you who actually [...]

I have no problem admitting when I’m wrong, and unless it’s an accident,  I typically don’t label any person’s thoughts as being ”absolutely true or false”…especially my own.  I do call it like I see it though, and as much as I realize that there are two sides to every coin, everyday I see people who are so fat that [...]

So the other day I was thinking about exposing myself.  You know, I had one of those long, creepy-looking pervert-coats on, the kind you don’t really see people wearing anymore, and I was just strolling down the street, mindin’ my own goddam business when it just seemed like a nice day to flop my dick out.  What?!?  I mean, that’s totally rational, [...]

   During this time of year, when I am simply waiting for everyone else to get done with the holidays, I am sometimes triggered to think about things that I normally otherwise woudln’t ever think of.  And since Christmas is a holiday about Jesus, I’ve been doing me some thinkin’ about Jesus.  Now the majority [...]

We’re going to get back on the exercise bandwagon tomorrow.  Today I’ve got to send a message to a group of dipshits so unbelievable that I can’t believe I haven’t touched on this subject before.  Thanks to JohnThom, who reminded me of the need to talk about these disgusting, degenerate-dirtbags.  So, in my neverending crusade to rid the world of [...]

  Goddamn this is a drab time of year.  We are eight days away from the shortest day on the calendar.  By shortest, I mean darkest.  By darkest, I mean the worst.  I know everybody is feeling it, it’s unavoidable.  Our circadian rhythms are out of whack, the weather sucks, and your white, pasty loins have now [...]

I bet you missed me, didn’t you?  Don’t act like you didn’t notice I took the day off yesterday.  I had some important shit I was preparing for, and I am absolutely thrilled in the britches about what I learned.  You see, I was at Shawnee Mission West high school guest-speaking to two different classes (ranging from sophomores to seniors) about health and [...]

  New Year’s resolutions are for absolute fucking pussies.  Give me a fucking break.  Here we go again with the whole holiday bullshit, when everybody–except my clients cause they don’t do that–start giving me this goddam holiday pussy bullshit.  Listen, you’re body has aboslutely no idea what the fuck “the holidays” even are.  You can [...]