BISP's Blog
A Punch-You-In-The-Face style of quasi-fitness news from a real fitness professional. This blog has been called "very witty" and "informative" by some dude I've never heard of.

Typically I reserve Sunday’s for sleeping, eating, and every now and again, I’ll get up to poop.  After a long week of watching moron’s flop around like fish on the floor, while performing what they–in all seriousness–think is a “kick-ass ab routine,” one day away from it all is usually in order.  Nevertheless, today is a special exception, [...]

Walked into my favorite convenience store today, the Q-Tangle, and immediately got inconvenienced when this weasly bastard’s ring tone started going off in my face, singin’ some Fa La La La La pussy shit.  Then it made me think of a dude that will probably make you feel a lot better about your life.  His name is Larry “The Comb” Snuffleupagus.  Let me tell you [...]

Do you use a community microwave at work?  Does it smell like a butthole and make you want to stick your head in it and reconsider your business degree?  I understand.  After all, all that shit they taught you in school about working hard and handing your TPS reports in on time has you close to winning that membership to the “Jelly of the Month” club, which [...]

 I don’t care much for holidays.  It’s not so much that I’m a scrooge, it’s that I’m a Nihililst, and that shit can be exhausting.  I like the fact that I don’t have to work on the holidays, I just hate the fact that YOU don’t have to work on the holidays.  I like the holidays such as 4th of July, Arbor Day, and Cinco [...]

Are you a fuckin’ pussy?  Seriously, think about it.  Don’t sugar coat any bullshit just to make yourself feel not-so-miserable and worthless, but honestly, are you a huge fuckin’ pussy?  Now if you’re thinking to yourself, “Fuck him!  What makes him think he’s so great!”  Well, first of all I never said that, second I could probably answer that question in any number of ways, but [...]

I want to wish a sincere, happy holiday-sweater-wearing holiday to you Glory Holeman.  Bastard.  Ok, for real, no shit though, Happy Thanksgivemebackmyson! to you Mel-Gibson-fan.  And if you know what I’m talking about, you either do love Mel Gibson and are a fag, or you listen to Rome.  My guess is that if you are reading this, you [...]

Hey, any of you pussies want to get involved in the pyramid scam I’m starting?  I got a damn good idea, and rumor has it they’re about to downsize at Omnicorp and AdvanTech anyway.  No?  Well have a nice time working security for the next 30 years.  They don’t give you a gun, and they don’t really expect [...]

One of the things I’ve always thought was awesome was people’s choice of attire when it comes to exercising.  I’m not exactly sure how many of these people a.) have a mirror, b.) don’t use a mirror, or c.) look at themselves before they leave the house and think “hell yeah.”  Like the dude who intentionally squirshes his [...]

So, you might be asking yourself, what in the fuck would make that soft, pasty, white man-loin ask a ridiculous question like this?  After all, don’t all dudes like to come home after a long day at work, crack open a can of room-temperature Busch, maybe a Miller High Life (the champaigne of beers), unbutton their trousers, and [...]

Every job has things that suck about them, and mine is certainly no exception.  For example, I fucking hate having to get up as early as I do every morning, especially since I like to get drunk at night and eat fish sticks off my boner.  And believe it or not, that can at times be [...]